HELP! I’VE GOT 12 KIDS WITH 4 DIFFERENT WOMEN AND I ONLY LOVE ONE OF THEM: GENESIS 29:31-30:24
Promises to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob: LAND, BLESSING AND FATHER OF A GREAT NATION.
“Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.” (Genesis 25:21)
“Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” … So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” (Genesis 29:17-20)
1) marriage in the Bible.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
God’s definition of marriage is a lifelong, exclusive union between a man and a woman, which is given both for mutual companionship and child-bearing.
A current issue: same-sex “marriage”
The Church of England has made no change to its definition of marriage as one man, one woman, for life for mutual companionship and childbearing.
- The law prohibits the Church of England from same-sex marriages but this will be challenged under the human-rights act.
- Some clergy want to change the church’s view of marriage
- The church may not bless same-sex marriages (but some churches will ignore this)
- Facilitated Conversations funded by the liberal Episcopalian Church
- Some clergy will enter same-sex marriages and force the bishops to discipline them (or chicken out).
“It would not be appropriate conduct for someone in holy orders to enter into a same sex marriage” (The House of Bishops pastoral guidance on same-sex marriage)
2) Five dumb ways to wreck your marriage
i) Having kids will fix your marriage.
“When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” (Genesis 29:31ff)
ii) Blame your spouse for all your problems
“When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”” (Genesis 30:1-2)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1Cor.13:4-8)
iii) Have an affair to spice things up.
“Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family.” (Genesis 30:3)
iv) Compare yourself with others.
“I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won” (Genesis 30:8)
““If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else,” (Galatians 6:3)
v) Passive spineless men
“During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” But she said to her, “Wasn’t it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?” “Very well,” Rachel said, “he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.” So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. “You must sleep with me,” she said. “I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he slept with her that night.” (Genesis 30:14-16)
Husbands are responsible for their families.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25)
3) three quick and useful things any husband can do to improve his marriage.
i) Lead your family in prayer
“Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.” (Genesis 30:22)
ii) be wise not stupid.
iii) God never ever gives up on your marriage and family so you can’t either.
I want to know more:
- Bishop’s Guidance for clergy on same sex marriage, http://www.churchofengland.org/media-centre/news/2014/02/house-of-bishops-pastoral-guidance-on-same-sex-marriage.aspx
- To read: “How to Act Right when your spouse acts wrong” by Leslie Vernick.
- To read: “Real Marriage: the Truth about sex, friendship and life together”, Mark and Grace Driscoll.
- Christian websites dealing with issues of sex and intimacy within marriage
- Helpful resources on sexuality issues